11/7/2021 - Judaism v. Christianity

Breaking away from my Catholic mindset.

I remember when I was a child, so young that I still had to be in a car seat, asking my mom how to play the dreidel game. I remember asking her a lot of questions about Judaism growing up, and she tried her best to explain it, but always told me, "Jesus was a Jew, ya know," which I always found interesting. If Jesus was a Jew, then why was there Christianity? She didn't have the answer to that one, but she always concluded the conversation encouraging me to treat Judaism as holy as Catholicism. She'd say that the two religions were different chapters in the same book.

When I asked my dad, he usually had an insensitive comment.

My mom explained to me that when the Second Coming happens, that 1 million Jews will convert when they see Christ. If that is true, then why didn't all Jews convert when Christ first arrived? She usually responded that I asked "why" too much, but all in good humor. Writing these posts has been exciting because it's the first time religion has allowed the question of why. 

This passage will probably be a lot of "whys" now that I am able to see Christianity, specifically Catholicism, from the outside. This will also probably be the first of many passages I write about this comparison.

Researching and reading the subject of Judaism v. Christianity has probably been the most difficult topic thus far. There is just so much to discuss, research, ponder, and analyze. But what fun is writing when you are not bursting with words?

Having experienced both sides of the argument, I began to wonder whether I was actually raised Catholic. Religiously yes, morally, no. A long-running Catholic joke is that most are only Catholic on the holidays. A favorite joke from our priest was, "You are all Catholic until you try to leave the parking lot all at once," referencing the constant beeping and profanities as we tried to leave through the only exit in the entire lot. While lighthearted when presented by the priest, it was common in mass to only be Catholic on a Sunday.

I think I was raised conveniently Catholic if you will. Catholic when my parents were trying to prove a point or win an argument, Catholic because our elders were Catholic, and Catholic because it's widely practiced in Brazil. My mom was raised Baptist but later converted. I remember my mom attending Catholic school during adult conversion because it was so important to my dad's side that she practice the sacraments with us.

What I found interesting was the nonchalant, almost encouraging, rhetoric from our Catholic teachers about sin. We were of course taught to not sin, but if we sinned, no biggie, God would forgive us if we asked. I remember at the end of one Mass during Lent, the priest announced that there was a Girl Scout cookie sale happening outside and encouraged us to buy some if we were interested. A woman sitting toward the front said, "Father, why would you mention that when most of us have given up sweets during Lent?" He replied, "It's okay to eat it, just back later for confession and I can forgive you." It wasn't in jest either. He didn't mention temptation or our promises to God, he simply shrugged and said it was fine, come back later. Yes, we're all human and sometimes we accidentally, or purposely, break our covenants. Eating a Girl Scout cookie during Lent wasn't a damning act, but the point of Lent was to sacrifice something you love until Easter. It wasn't meant to be easy, it was meant to be deliberate. Mistakes were bound to happen along the way and that's okay. But mistakes weren't meant to be encouraged.

There is such a difference between breaking a covenant and repenting with genuine remorse and breaking a covenant just because you assume you'll be forgiven.

Instead of personal repentance to God, she had to repent through a priest, the middleman. For me, repentance is so personal because it requires me to closely connect with God and become vulnerable to Him. So why would a priest have a closer connection to God than I (or anyone)? I think a better way to explain it is that I see Catholicism as hierarchal and Judaism as flat. One shouldn't have to be above another to connect with God, right?

We weren't really taught to be a good person for the sake of being a good person either, we had to be a good person if we wanted to go to heaven. So, sinning, whether purposefully or not, was technically fine as long as you repent later. Repentance, at least at the church I attended, was usually saying one Our Father and 10 Hail Mary's after confession. I can recite those prayers by heart but have no clue what they actually mean.

It makes me think of the 12JQ class that Cantor Bortnick led about prayer and fixed liturgy. I find the traditions of Judaism such as Shabbat and Havdalah to be beautiful ceremonies that bring us together and bring us closer to the memories of those who have practiced it for thousands of years. But I like when Cantor Bortnick said that prayer without Kavanah is no prayer at all. Prayer should be attentive and deliberate as we humble ourselves before Him. Recitation of prayer without intention will likely go unheard. I do not pray before I eat because I have to, I pray before I eat because I am blessed to have the food in front of me. I pray before I eat because I want to thank Him for that moment. I pray because I feel and I want Him to know. 

So to be told to say one Our Father and 10 Hail Mary's after confession kind of meant nothing, as harsh as that sounds. We went into confession knowing what the priest would say and then afterward, we'd sit in the pew and recite the prayers faster than auctioneer and leave.

What I find interesting is that Judaism rejects the idea of someone claiming to be the Messiah, which makes sense; I assume we will just know when it happens. A good person doesn't need to tell people they are a good person, people will just know when they meet them. Jesus told His disciples he was the Messiah, and Jesus confirms to a high priest that He is the messiah when the high priest asks. I wonder, if a high priest had to ask if Jesus was the Messiah then wouldn't that question speak for itself? I doubt many Jews questioned the presence of God before them at Mt. Sinai.

Jesus never really fulfilled the Messianic requirements either, and Jesus certainly did not usher in a world of universal peace. I read somewhere, I think in Jewish Literacy, that Jesus probably didn't intend to create a new religion, and certainly not a religion that contradicts many Jewish foundations. As I mentioned earlier if Jesus was the Messiah, then why didn't all Jews recognize that? Surely a religion that awaited the Messianic Age would all turn to the Messiah. Why, many years later, did the self-proclaimed, loving Catholicism/Christianity become one of the most violent religions? Why did the Crusades give Jews the ultimatum of, "convert or die."? Forced faith is no faith at all, just as prayer without Kavanah is not a prayer at all. I believe fear became the staple of Christianity/Catholicism. But fear birthed obligation as well, but what is a religion that survives on fear and obligation? Fear voids reason. "If you disrespect your parents you're going to hell." Okay, why? Teach me so I understand why I shouldn't do it again. Teach me why so I can share that reason with my children and teach them to be good for the sake of being good. We are both the student and the teacher and fear and obligation play no role in the growth of knowledge.

I wonder if early Christians were simply just renouncing Judaism out of impatience. They knew the Messianic Age would bring universal peace but when it didn't happen, they still professed Jesus as the Messiah. What religion would need approval from the Romans to exist? Much less a religion that has seen the Messiah. And much, much less at the cost of another religion. I don't think the Messianic Age would include that. In To Life! by Harold Kushner, an interesting perspective is mentioned that some may have seen Christianity as easier than Judaism as Judaism was seen as the "losers" of religion due to constant oppression. It's a perspective I think is probably the most plausible. Was it not the early Christians that blamed Jews for the death of Christ as they tried to gain legitimacy from the Romans? 

This leads into a topic from 12 Jewish Questions that Rabbi Miller led on the Scapegoat Theory.

I remember asking my dad why Hitler hated Jews so much and he responded, "He just needed someone to blame." Without getting into my dad's more controversial opinions, he was right. In all texts that I have read so far, I have not found a single reason why so many, now and then, hate Judaism so much. Christianity among those who have disdain. For a religion that originated from, and is largely based upon Jewish text, to look down upon Jews is beyond my comprehension. But maybe Kushner was right, maybe some people just didn't want to be perceived as "losers." 

But what is a loser? Some who is defeated? Admits defeat? Loses something? Judaism is resilient and despite time and despite the odds, Judaism continues to prevail. When we are knocked down, we do not scatter, we come together to lift ourselves up. We lift those who were knocked so hard that they cannot stand on their own. Heinous acts have tried to erase Judaism, but none have succeeded. For something to be dark, there must be something light. And so for all of the darkness in this world, Judaism remains the light. 

One cannot be a loser if one doesn't give up. Wouldn't it make more sense for the losers to be those that failed to erase us? Sure, they definitely inflicted unimaginable pain on us. But is a boxing match really over if both boxers are still standing, despite how beat up one of them may be?

Sure, I was raised Catholic; baptized in holy water, ate the body of Christ, and drank the blood of Christ, but when my time comes, it will be my soul that survives as it leaves the body. It is my soul that will be judged, not my body. I will be remembered for who I was, not necessarily what I look like. These 27 years of life have been spent finding my way back home to other Jewish souls. Jewish souls that come together and illuminate that light in the darkness.

I am worried that my outlook on Catholicism may seem harsh, but having seen what Catholicism is capable of morphing people into is harrowing, scary, even.

I understand that Christianity was founded on the basis of love, but I hardly see that without strings attached. "Love thy neighbor," but only if you think like I do. "We will help rebuild your home," but only if you let us try and convert you. "I'll pray for you," but only because you are not baptized. Much of that rhetoric was quite normal in the congregation I grew up in. My congregation implied that Catholics were superior and we should pity those who are not. What religion promotes hubris?

I will say that despite the unagreeable teachings, there were some beautiful parts to Catholicism, but those were of material beauty. Literally. The cathedrals are undeniably beautiful and the music of mass could be pretty. 

I do not see Christianity as an evolution of Judaism, there are simply too many contradictions between Judaism and Christianity to consider Christianity an evolution of Judaism. I see Christianity as a reinterpretation that used Jesus, a Jew, as a catalyst for whatever goal they had the time. Perhaps escaping oppression or trying to force a Messianic Age. Who knows. But what I do know is that Judaism has been here since the beginning of time. We use the same original text and reinterpret it to apply to our current times. And what is more miraculous than an ancient text that still guides us to love, to be good, to be humble, to be honest, etc.? We have so many, if not endless, texts that discuss the Torah, challenge the Torah, explain the Torah, apply the Torah. After thousands of years, we still live by a divine text that has given us the courage and faith to endure the most challenging terrors history has thrown at us. What is more Godly, aside from God Himself, than something eternal?

Breaking from my Catholic mindset has made me a less fearful person. It allows me to further embrace Judaism and practice it in full. I do not feel fear in Judaism, I feel at peace. Instead of waiting for the Messianic Age to happen, I pray that I can be someone that contributes to bringing that age closer to us.