9/15/2021 - Erev Yom Kippur

Last night on Erev Yom Kippur, I attended service for the first time in person to celebrate the holiest of days. I cannot think of a better day to have done so.

Aside from being beyond nervous because I didn't know how to attend, I was greeted by friendly ushers who welcomed me. An elderly usher, Jacki, was kind enough to show me around and explain how service works. Once I settled into my seat, I took the remaining time before service began to take in the temple itself. It surprised me how similar the layout is to a Catholic church, but it was comforting in the sense that it felt familiar.

When service began with what I'm almost certain was Kol Nidrei, I was overcome by an extreme sense of reverence that I felt not only in myself but also exuding from the congregation. That's when I felt the difference between attending virtually and attending in person. It was then that I fully understood that Judaism is not meant to be practiced in solitude, but meant to be shared and felt amongst others. Just as Rabbi Shankman's story of the "firey sermon."

Before I keep going, I have to note that student Cantor Reinstein's voice was mesmerizing. 

It was an emotional service as I listened to Rabbi Lustig discuss where our mind physically goes when we pray to God. I found my mind in the home I grew up in, cozy in a blanket, watching the snow fall, hearing the fireplace crack, and drinking another cup of tea my mother made for me. It was strange to me that my mind went back to a place whos door opens for me no longer. But winters there were the best.

That place my mind goes can almost feel the fireplace toast the air and warm my bones. Perhaps my mind goes there because the warmth from the fireplace, keeping me warm and safe, is just the same as Gods presence in moments of prayer. His presence protecting and embracing me from the elements outside.

Service last night made me realize that to pray to God is to open up to God, to become completely vulnerable to Him and knock down any facades we may have. Sometimes I catch myself in moments of reflection and prayer censoring myself, as if God doesn't already know what is in my mind. What I truly admire about the Jewish faith is that prayers are not seen as chores, instead they are powerful, intimate actions meant not just praise God, but to strengthen the bond with God.

It was a beautiful service and beautiful sense of community. Attending service in person and being surrounded by the congregation made me all the more grateful that in the complex paths of lives, I somehow live in a time and place where I can one day be a true member of WHC.

Also, what's the stance on visible tattoos? I had my arms covered but I was still curious as I kept tugging my sleeves down.