8/8/2021 - Diet and Service

It took me 27 years to make the first step in a journey I've always wanted. There is no destination, just the endless road of teachings, love, gratuity, and God.

My first meeting with Rabbi Shankman was on 7/23/2021. This is where I realized the process of conversion will require much more discipline and dedication than I initially thought. But that was not a discouragement, only more motivation to become closer with God and become a part of a community that has always shown me kindness.

Rabbi Shankman emphasized living a more Jewish life during this journey. The first thing I did was adjust my diet. Initially, I was going to stop eating shellfish because I never cared much for it anyway. But a few days later, that felt ingenuine; why take the easy way out? So I decided to cut out not only shellfish but pork and the mixing of dairy and meat as well. This was a shock not only to my friends but also to myself. But it felt right to sacrifice parts of my diet I indulge in. The consciousness of what I eat will now be one of the daily reminders of His presence. 

I virtually attended service on 8/6/2021. I turned off my phone and listened to what was being shared. What I first noticed was that service felt more like an open conversation rather than a linear sermon. Rabbi Shankman was not talking to people, but talking with them.

I celebrated my first, proper, Shabbot that evening (I think I'm using that term correctly). I watched the lighting of the candles, the blessing of the bread, and the consumption of wine. After service, I also lit candles of my own and recited the Shabbot blessing as best I could, and did the same with the wine in my temporary, improptu Kiddush cup. I was so excited that I recited these blessings twice.

To me, it represented peace after another week. But also an appreciation of what He has created around and for us and how we take time to recognize this blessing and celebrate all that He gives and guides us. 

This was so new to me, so contrary to the Catholic ways I was brought up in. We were celebrating not only God but our connection to Him. Recognizing and thanking Him in ways that He created.

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Rabbi Shankman asked the audience during service to share their Simcha, no matter how small. People mentioned grand things such as birthdays, to small things such as attending service in person for the first time since last year. 

It was a new term to me, Simcha; a joyous moment or celebration. But Rabbi Shankman mentioned it could be small things as well. There have been days where I found nothing to be grateful for, especially as of late, but I let the term "Simcha" settle in my mind that night. I fine-combed through the details of my life and suddenly realized that I had only been seeking joy and gratuity for large events. Life-changing events. I had been expecting large events to happen daily; life-changing decisions daily. But that's not realistic, there is joy and celebration wherever you look.

So I began looking at things a little deeper rather than skimming them. I found joy in having a wonderful boss at work, a cat who loves to sit on my lap, the opportunity to provide for myself, a sister who loves me, and even the new buds on my dying plant. For so long, I had been blind to the everyday things He has allowed me to experience. Joy and celebration were surrounding me and I had been oblivious to it for so long.